Baby & Toddler Sleep Survival Guide (What Actually Helped Us Get Through It)

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As a mom of 3 under 2, I’ve been through a lot of phases of baby sleep. Right now, I’m managing two 2-year-olds and a 4-month-old. And while that might sound like a special kind of chaos… it’s honestly not as bad as you’d think.

And no—I was not blessed with three magical sleepers. I’ve just done a ton of trial and error, found products that actually help, and stayed consistent with what works.

If you’re deep in the trenches right now, I’ve been there. This is everything that’s helped us with baby and toddler sleep—so you don’t have to keep scrolling at 3am like I did. (But, side note: if sleep feels like a mess right now, just know it’s temporary. You can get back on track. And some phases are just hard no matter what you do.)

And if you want all of this in one place (plus a little more structure you can actually reference), I put it into a simple, saveable guide. Think of this post as the foundation to baby and toddler sleep, and this guide as the blueprint. Download my Baby Sleep Bible here.

1. Sleep foundations are built during the day, not just at night

Good sleep habits start early—but not in the way people think.

For the first few months (especially that “fourth trimester”), focus less on strict schedules and more on routines. Stick to the same general flow before naps and bedtime so your baby starts to recognize what’s coming.

For us, that looks like this in the early days:

• quick baby lotion massage

• into a swaddle or sleep sack

• white noise + dim red light

  
  

I personally use a Yogasleep Dohm White Noise Machine and the Hatch Rest Sound Machine together for Baby Cam. The Hatch can do both, I just prefer the sound from the Dohm—total personal preference.

Also—don’t underestimate the basics during those early weeks: suck (pacifier), swaddle, shhh (white noise).

And get a portable sound machine. Being able to recreate sleep anywhere makes a huge difference.

2. Overtired babies don’t sleep better—they sleep worse

I know your parents will tell you to just keep them up later. Respectfully… no! (TBH, I am convinced the lack of schedules is why our parent's generation thinks our entire generation "had colic".)

Overtired babies are actually harder to settle, wake more overnight, and everything just spirals.

Some days my twins are done early—so they nap early. Same with bedtime. Earlier doesn’t mean worse sleep… it usually means better. We follow wake windows as much as we can (more info on wake windows in my Baby Sleep Bible).

Also, not every nap has to be perfect. Some days short naps still lead to better nights than pushing them too far.

3. You don’t have to fix every wake-up— but make sure you assess what you're doing before you put your baby to sleep.

Not every wake-up needs a full production.

Sometimes just giving them a minute—or supporting without fully stepping in—helps them learn to self-settle.

But here's a huge tip: how a baby falls asleep is usually how they expect to go back to sleep. So if they’re always rocked or fed to sleep, they’ll look for that again between sleep cycles. Try to avoid this if you can.

One thing that made a big difference for us in minimizing wake-ups—especially with Myles—was doing something before we put him down after we fed him, like reading a book or singing a song, to break the sleep association of being fed to sleep. We had to tweak his schedule a bit to make this work.

Another VERY important thing is making sure your baby is getting enough calories during the day. When babies are underfed during the day, they make up for it overnight. And reverse cycling is NOT something you want to be dealing with.

4. Consistency matters more than perfection

An easy way to stay consistent is with a schedule. But in reality, don’t need a perfect schedule—you need predictability in their bedtime routine.

This means same cues, same general flow, same expectations.

For my toddlers, the Hatch Rest Sound Machine is a big part of that. We use a color system in their room:

• green = wake

• orange = wind down

• red + white noise = sleep (the red light also helps them find their pacifiers or stuffy if they lose them in the middle of the night, which has GREATLY reduced wake-ups, too!!

  
  

In practice, that looks like this:

When we walk in their room in the morning, we turn the light to green before even getting them for the crib.

We switch it to orange about 15 minutes before we want them to be asleep.

After it’s switched to orange, we put them in their crib with a book. When they are flipping through the book, we talk about their day (which is great for their memory & building language) and sing one lullaby afterwards.

Then, I say the same phrase each night: “It’s time for night-night. I love you and I’ll see you in the morning.” After that, we switch it to red before walking out! That’s it. They know that means time to lay down and sleep because it’s been so consistent.

If you want to try and stick with a schedule, check out Taking Cara Babies. But, I can't stress this enough— use these as a guide, not a rule. Some babies are naturally "lower sleep needs" and some are "higher sleep needs". If the schedules she recommends aren't working for you, follow your baby's lead instead.

Lastly: you don’t have to do "harsh" sleep training methods like cry it out to teach predictable sleep expectations if that’s not your thing. There are gentler options. I personally love the chair method—it worked really well for us (Myles, I’m looking at you). But honestly— the most important thing is to just pick a lane and stick with it. Switching things up every night is confusing for them and exhausting for you.

5. Some phases just suck (and it’s not your fault)

Even when you do everything “right,” there will still be hard nights.

Teething. Illness. Sleep regressions. Separation anxiety. All of it comes in waves.

It doesn’t mean you broke something or need to start over.

Stick with your routine, stay as consistent as you can, and ride it out.

Here's we actually use (and repurchased for Baby #3):

These are the things that have consistently helped us across all three kids:

• Yogasleep Dohm White Noise Machine

• Hatch Rest Sound Machine

• Pacifiers (the only ones all 3 of my boys have taken well)

• Sleep sacks / swaddles (pro tip: make sure you're using the right TOG rating for the season!)

• Portable white noise machine (for on-the-go naps)

  
  

Nothing fancy—just things that actually made a difference for us.

If you want something a little more step-by-step that you can actually reference during the day (or at 3am), I put everything into a simple guide you can save.

Baby Sleep Bible Mama Poe's Posts.pdf

Download PDF • 1.73MB

Sleep can make you feel like you’re doing everything wrong—but most of the time, you’re not.

Some kids just don’t sleep great sometimes. It really just takes tons of practice and a whole lot of patience.

So solidarity if you’re currently in the thick of it. It gets better… even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

Posted from the heart,

Mama Poe