Life Lately: Turning 30... AS A MOM!

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Our little family just celebrated the Fourth of July weekend. Two days before that, I turned 30.

A lot of the birthday texts I received had a tone that made it seem like turning 30 was supposed to be a bad thing.

Truthfully? I couldn't be happier. My twenties were a hot mess.

Not to say they were all bad. Steven and I started dating when I was 20 (which honestly feels impossible to wrap my head around now), and some of my favorite memories happened during that decade.

But for the first half of my twenties, I was incredibly unsure of myself. I cared way too much about what other people thought of me. I constantly compared myself to everyone else. I spent far too much energy trying to figure out who I was instead of simply becoming that person. And, if I'm being honest...I probably drank a little more than I should have.

The second half of my twenties looked completely different.

Around 26, we started trying to grow our family. Before I knew it, I was pregnant with twins. Then came postpartum depression and anxiety, followed by learning how to survive motherhood, finding my footing, and then becoming pregnant again (which was very much unplanned). We then welcomed Camden into our family, and somehow...here we are.

Thirty.

I am a completely different person than I was ten years ago. It's amazing how life has a way of sanding off your rough edges. At 20, I thought confidence came from having all the answers. At 30, I know it comes from realizing you don't need to. Turning 30 as a mom of 3 under 3 just hits different.

I care so much less about impressing people and so much more about protecting my peace. My idea of a perfect Friday night used to involve going out. Now it's sitting on the couch after the boys are asleep, talking with Steven while the world settles down around us.

Success doesn't look the way I thought it would either.

At 20, I pictured promotions, bigger paychecks, and checking boxes. At 30, success looks like hearing my kids laugh from the next room, slowly fixing up our 1908 house, finding joy in writing blog posts about the little things that make motherhood easier, and knowing how blessed I am when I open the fridge doors and see it fully stocked.

It's funny how the things I once overlooked have become the things I value the most.

I don't have everything figured out.

I'm still learning how to be a better mom.

I'm still figuring out my mental health.

I'm still learning to navigate life with three little kids.

But I also feel...settled.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like my life actually fits me.

If my twenties were about figuring out who I wanted to become, I hope my thirties are about becoming her.

Posted from the heart,

Mama Poe