Why Your 2-Year-Old Suddenly Stopped Sleeping (And What Helped Us get Through It)
- Mama Poe
- 1 day ago
- 5 min read
*Please note: some links provided below are Amazon affiliate links! At no cost to you, I may earn a small commission from the products below if you click on them and make a purchase.
If you landed here because your toddler suddenly refuses bedtime, wakes all night, or starts fighting naps after months of sleeping well, take a deep breath. I know how discouraging it feels.Â
Right before the twins turned 2, all hell broke loose at our house.
Naps became challenging. They refused them or woke way too early. Night time, which typically operated like a well-oiled machine, became exhausting for me and frustrating for them. We went nearly a year without overnight wakes, but even had a few of those, too.
While people often call this the '2-year sleep regression,' I think what's really happened is that they began changing in a dozen different ways all at once.
If you’ve been following along, you know I don’t really believe in sleep regressions.
There are absolutely things that disrupt baby sleep, though.
Sometimes they coincide with a date on the calendar. But most of the time, they don’t.
Here’s Why Your 2-Year-Old Suddenly Stopped Sleeping
Right around when your little one turns two (it could be before or after), a LOT begins happening for them:
Language explosion
Growing imagination
New-found Independence
FOMO
Boundary testing
Night fears
2 year molars
Sleep needs may be evolving
Sometimes this all happens at once. Sometimes it drags out for months, with your toddler ebbing and flowing between their normal state of being or being an absolute hellyan.
What This Looked Like in My House
I have put a lot of work into making the twins independent sleepers. Not to toot my own horn, but we have great routines in place. I front-load every transition. I offer them choices as we get ready for sleep (ex: do you want to wear blue pajamas, or the green ones?). I give them snacks as we unwind to make sure their bellies are full. We read books. We sing songs. I use a colored light to signal if it’s time to play (green), time to wind down (orange), or time to be in our cribs asleep (red) as we flow through the routine. I use timers if they really need them, too!
And suddenly, none of it mattered.
And it wasn't like we had abandoned our routine or became inconsistent overnight. We were doing all the same things that had worked for months. That was probably the most frustrating part.
Jay began to delay bedtime at all costs. The second he would hear the words “bedtime”, he would run to his room and dump out all of his toys. One time, he even tried climbing the shelf to turn the light from orange back to green!
Myles would cling onto me and refuse to be put down into his crib. If I managed to get him there, he would scream at the top of his lungs and act like he was going to climb out. Sometimes he would just cry as loud as he could, and other times he would yell “Mama where are you?!”, even if he could see me.
Both began taking books from me so I couldn’t read them, or yelling at me while I would sing our usual lullabies. They took turns copying each other’s bad behaviors, too, and there were nights where I had both of them screaming at me in harmony.
So when I say all hell broke loose, I mean it with my entire chest.
Here’s What Helped Us Get Through It
I wish I could tell you I found some magical toddler sleep hack. I didn't.
Truthfully, our bedtime routine barely changed at all as we worked through this. Here’s what stayed the same:
We still made sure they had plenty of opportunities to get their energy out during the day. After dinner, we'd usually play outside or take baths if they needed one.
Then we'd change into pajamas while watching a little TV.
Next, the light in their room would turn orange. (That has always been our cue that playtime is ending and bedtime is beginning, and it is time to settle down in their rooms.)
We'd still read three books together. That part never changed, either.
But what happens next is where IÂ changed.
I stopped expecting them to sit perfectly still. If they wanted to quietly play with their cars while I read, that was fine with me. I stopped fighting it. It actually reduced a lot of the power struggles because bedtime didn't feel like an abrupt stop to all the fun. This made a huge difference.
As we got closer to bedtime, I started to give even more reminders.
"Okay, two more books."
"Last book, then it's time for cribs."
And then here’s what may have actually changed everything: I started explaining the boundary before we reached the difficult moment.
I'd calmly remind them:
"If you yell at Mommy when it's time for bed, I'm going to close the door and walk away without singing songs."
Not as a threat. Not because I was angry. And absolutely not because I wanted to abandon them.
Just because they deserved to know exactly what would happen if they crossed a boundary.
Then, bedtime became wonderfully predictable.
Into their cribs. Lights off. If they still wanted to chat for a minute, we'd chat. I'd sing our three lullabies. Tell them I loved them. Tell them I was proud of them. Turn the light red. And leave.
No more tears. No more yelling. The biggest difference wasn't the routine. It was me.
I stopped trying to negotiate with them to stop them from having big feelings.
Before, the second they started crying or yelling, I felt like I needed to fix it. I'd reason with them, negotiate, reassure them, or come up with a dozen different ways to calm them down before bedtime could continue.
Eventually, I realized they didn't need me to make their feelings disappear. They needed me to help them through those feelings while keeping bedtime predictable and staying consistent.
So I became as predictable as the routine itself. I stayed firm as hell with my boundaries, but I also stayed calm. If they were upset, they were allowed to be upset. My job wasn't to stop the emotion—it was to lovingly hold the boundary anyway.
Ironically, once they realized the routine—and my response—wasn't going to change, bedtime became easier for all of us again.
→If you want to know more about the truth behind sleep regressions, check out my post here!
Looking back, I don't think my toddlers needed a brand-new bedtime routine. They needed a mom who was calm, predictable, and confident enough to stick with the one we already had. If your 2-year-old suddenly stopped sleeping, too, remember that it won't last forever.
Keep showing up, keep holding loving boundaries, and trust that your toddler is learning from your consistency—even when it doesn't feel like it in the moment.
Posted from the heart,
Mama Poe
Comments